I just spent the last month and a half getting close with a very special girl. We texted a lot and we hung out I even took her out to a fancy dinner one night! We kissed and we cuddled and we always had a good time, always! Even though she had some pretty big problems I accepted them because they were in her past and it should be left there, something no other guy had done before. She even said I was doing everything perfect with my lack of relationship history, I even bought her flowers. But when I finally worked up the courage to ask her about the thought of her being my girlfriend, to start a relationship with me, she freaked out and said she didn’t want any of this anymore that she wasn’t feeling it and I had come on too s trong… WHY IS THAT ALWAYS THE ANSWER I GET! I always am told I come on too strong but this time I waited till I thought it was right and I still fucked it up, what is wrong with me? Why can’t I just find someone who wants to actually be with me? Is that so hard? I don’t know anymore, I don’t know what I’m gonna do all I know is ill be doing it alone… guess I just came here to vent, I guess ill figure it out somehow.
So I finished mass effect 3 finally today, after successfully dodging the ending ever since it came out and… I litterally have no idea what to say. That game had me staring at the screen throughout the entire torture device the call a game, but at the end there I just didn’t know what to do. I literally made pros and cons page of all the options and I just sat there controller in my hand not knowing what to do. Well eventually I made my choice (Destroy) and every second I watched it I began to realize how many terrible things my choice brought about the biggest of which was EDI, I LOVED EDI!!! and joker with the normandy, a man in love with his ship running as hard and fast as he could to save his one true love! OMG TOO MUCH!!! but when they land on the planet and they survive and the credits come… I just sat there with my jaw on the floor and tried to take in everything I just witnessed. I still am trying to process it all this franchise that I loved and that’s the ending I just… I need time to think.. I just… I dont know
Today has just been… fuck. I’m just in this funk today and I can’t shake it. I found out there’s no way I can get the money I was robbed by my school back and that I have to fork out even more and adonaowdn. On other news I have been talking to people on the dating site and that’s going no where, either the girls are close and suck or they’re awesome and so far away and I can’t do a long distance relationship again… I just can’t. It also doesn’t help that my idiot sister and her friends are over running the house and so loud I can’t think straight so I can’t get any writing down(Even this is a stretch). Although on a brighter side I figured out what I really want to do with my life, something I enjoy and would be happy doing, it’s just getting there will be the hard part since I have to wait a year to even start the program since I dropped out and I now have to deal with those repercussions. Today sucks.
Whilst all the sexy ladies are preparing their costumes and all the guys are preparing very corny pick up lines for said costumes I am off to bed. Been up for over 24 hours now and am hitting the hay early tonight, Night Tumblr!!!